I THINK I'M ABOUT TO GO MAD!!

These were the exact words said to me by a young man on a Monday evening.
I was going back home (I stay off-campus) and I decided to walk the distance between my institution's Student Union Building and the School gate. With my earphones plugged in listening to Charlie Puth, I didn't pay attention as people passed me by on the sidewalk. Atleast until a guy looking to be in his early-mid twenties slowed down to say those words to me. I was taken aback and I couldn't say anything for a few seconds (I mean who just walks up to you and says that with a mirthless smile on his face). But my curiousity got the better of me, as always.
Our conversation went thus:
Me: Uhhh, why?
Him: I've been smoking for a long time now.
(Pause.... I let that info sink in)
Me: What's your name?
Him: Marcus.(real name withheld)
Me: What department are you in?
Him: (chuckles mildly) I don't trust you. The funny thing is, people in my department see me as this good guy. They wouldn't know that 'Marcus' could be doing this.
Me: ohhhh.
Him: what department are you in?
Me: lol, why should I trust you either?
Him: (laughs) it's not that, but there's the possibility you might turn me in. Just a few months ago, UNILAG expelled some students because of this and even UI at one time blocked the road to Poly Ibadan cos people usually bought and sold it there. And I don't want you to turn me in.
Me: I understand. (At this point I'm guessing he's talking about cannabis.)
(Pause)
Me: How old were you when you started taking it?
Him: I was in secondary school... (thinks for a while) I grew up on the streets you get? I had to do things for my self. I grew up on the streets.
(We just walk)
I want to stop it cause I know it's wrong and it's affecting me.
Have you ever smoked before?
Me: No, I haven't.
Him: Good, good. Don't do it if you haven't. And be careful. Peer influence is possible. Watch the people you walk around with. I can call out 4 people I've influenced since I got to UI and now they're regular smokers. (By this time we had already gotten to the gate)
(Pause)
Me: where are you going now?
Him: I'll just walk, walk (he waves his hand in no particular direction) and come back.
Me: okay... (We keep walking and I soon get to where I'd take a keke napep to my place) Marcus! (I have to call out to him cos he's obviously in another realm already) I have to cross and take a keke home.
Him: Okay. (with the mirthless smile, he turns and walks away)
Me: Bye. (But I'm sure he can no longer hear me)

The exchange got me feeling....humbled. It didn't seem like he wanted to make friends with me or even my acquaintance. He didn't even ask for my name. I guess he just needed to talk to someone at that moment and I was just the random person that felt right.
I did feel sad tho. I wish I could have done more for him. Maybe collect his number and try to help him through this stage in his life.(I messed up in that regard, I didn't ask for it)
While we walked I could realized he was 'disturbed'. I use disturbed and not deranged cos, he's a student for goodness sake! He wasn't wearing rags. But it did seem like he was on the brink of losing it. Throughout our interaction, he kept on giving long pauses where he'd just walk and think. (He also had extremely red eyes. One feature I noticed since I could hardly capture the rest)
I told a friend about the encounter. About the fact that I wish I could have helped him. My friend was like "you could have told him to go to a rehabilitation centre."
"What centre do we have in Nigeria?", I asked.
"Church", he replied.
That sounded funny to me then, same as now. Churches and Mosques are all well and good, but these people need a neutral ground where they wouldn't feel judged or any less of themselves.  I realised the crude reality that even when drug abusers want to change and do better, they aren't provided with the facilities and opportunities to do so.
Because honestly, do we have any functional rehabilitation centre in this country? If we do, kindly enlighten me for I am not aware. Major flaw (i)

We criticise smokers cause we feel we are better than them. I wonder if anyone put in the same situations they've gone through, would choose any differently. Major flaw (ii)

Mind you, I am not here to defend smokers nor their choices. I detest the act (my own personal prejudice). But I'm a social scientist, and I believe in objectivity when push comes to shove.
We need to give smokers chances to do better. Chances to get their life back on track( if they want to of course). We need to consider all the variables that contribute to their addictions; Broken homes, Poverty, Poor upbringing, societal factors, emotional traumas and all.
  It's not too much to ask that the supposed "Premier University" in West Africa, have a centre within its premises that caters to addicts. These are the things we should focus on and not how to bring the next rave act for a performance in the school (which I'm not totally condemning. But for what it's worth, it shouldn't be close to being a priority.)
One of the primary functions of a state is the welfare of its citizens.
We need the Federal Government to do better. But first off, we need to do better for we mirror our government. We shouldn't criticize addicts just because it goes against our religious principles of values. We need to help them see that we have their backs and we ain't judging. Quite a number of individuals who died from drug abuse, suicide and so on would probably have lived a while longer if they received proper care and advice. It's never a crime to be concerned about the well-being of the people around us.

On a final note, I wanna encourage you, my dear reader, to reach out to that person around you that is being held down by addiction. They might not admit it but they need our concern and care. Getting off drugs or any other addictive substance is not an easy battle and it requires contributions from others around. If you genuinely care about that your 'friend' as you claim to, you would help rid them of habits that pose dangerous threats to their health  (emotional, physical, psychological)

I don't know if I'll ever meet Marcus again, but I do hope our short encounter made a difference in the choices he made afterwards.

P.S The conversation depicted above can only represent about 75% of the actual occurrence. The rest have either being lost to forgetfulness or withheld based on my better judgement.

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LESS IS MORE (PART 1)

*Glossary available at the end of the post.

Tuesday afternoon, while trying to rest off the tension and stress of my first official exam this semester, I decided to check new notifications on my Whatsapp Messenger. While at this, I noticed a sort of literal sparring ongoing between two male contenders in a particular group chat. My interest was piqued. Not one to be easily interested in participating in such showy acts, I decided to keep mute and simply enjoy the interplay (kinda like the way one would sneak into a movie theatre when the lights are already dimmed, lol).
To some people it was irksome, to others much like me, we were busy looking for more popcorn. Then after a while of being a wallflower and simply observing, I started realizing a few things. Such as, People tend to equivalate verboseness with intellectual adroitness.
Don't get me wrong, I respect sesquipedalians. I admire their dexterity with words. But only when the words are in sync with the matter being discussed.
Often, just to earn the admiration of their readers or audience, many youths make use of bombastic terms without considering if they apply in that context. Consequently, they end up spewing, put simply, utter gibberish.I've had the opportunity to come across a particular guy who was so terrible with words but thought of himself to be an unquestionable master of English. It was such a ludicrous situation, one filled with mirth for me quite honestly. I never tried to correct him on his countless errors tho. It would have broken his ego. After Tuesday's event though, I felt I had to express my views on this someway, hence, a blog post! In my opinion, and that of many literary scholars, concise and succint words are always the best channels for passing information or expressing oneself. Of course it is never a bad idea to embellish one's writing with some grandiloquence once in a while, however, moderation is key. A sparse amount of lexiphanic statements in strategic places is enough to express the writer's acuity. Wordiness only diverts readers attention from the original purpose of the write-up and bores them in the end. Sadly, Not many people can detect when their writing is wordy. The basic idea is, when a word is dispensable, there's no need to include it in the sentence. Take for instance this sample sentences.
1. "The man ardently, vehemently and passionately refused to move his car" This is a classic case of wordiness. A much better Variant of the sentence would be;
2. "The man vehemently refused to move his car" (if the imagery must be painted ) Or better still,
3. "The man refused to move his car" The adjectives vehemently,ardently and passionately mean the same thing so using them all together is just wrong especially when the pattern is maintained throughout the text. I call it "word abuse" (just made that up, don't know if it actually exists. But you get the idea)
Picture a confident and charismatic speaker, saying sentence 1. You'd probably be clapping and saying "Punchline! Ride on! Tell them" Or anything else that would apply in this case. Everyone is guilty of it in some way.
And that is exactly why nowadays, folks are more bothered about expanding their English vocabulary rather than understanding the language's Diction and Grammar. Thus, there are tons of people possessing the knowledge of great many words, who aren't even able to properly pronounce half of these words.
I'm not a literary genius per se, neither am I a pedant. But I am a strong believer in the philosophy of "Less is more".

                  GLOSSARY
1. Wallflower- a Person who isn't socially inclined.
2. Verboseness- the excess use of words.
3 Adroitness- Skillfulness or ease of ability.
4. Sesquipedalian- A person who uses long words.
5. Dexterity- Skill in performing tasks.
6. Bombastic- Showy in speech.
7. Grandiloquence- Lofty, pompous speech or writing.
8. Lexiphanic- bombastic wording 
9. Pedant- A person who is overly concerned with trivial points of learning.
10. Sparring- A contest in words, to wrangle.
11. Irksome- Annoying, Irritating 

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HAVE YOU SEEN LOVE?

Hi sir
Hi ma'am
Have you seen love?
Errr not sure if he is a dude or a dudess
Buh i do need to talk to the fellow

Why is love so complicated
So kind yet so wicked
So straightforward yet twisted
So relieving and yet overbearing

So why love?
Why cant you just let the heart feel you
Without the aches that comes with you
The soul feel you without this burning and red fire
The body feel you without the pain that runs thru the veins

Hey love
You gotta answer me
Cos i am beginning to lose people around me
Not because my heart is cold
Infact it longs for more warmth
But because you manipulate and complicate matters
For simple beings

Pls do answer my questions
Maybe then
I will find peace
Which seems to have deserted me

N. Hassan

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FEAR: INNATE OR CULTIVATED?

      Yesterday as I sat with a friend at the car pack of my institution's Student Union Building, resting, after standing under the sun for hours watching a Dog Show that was organized in school, I noticed a cute little girl who was seemingly waiting for a ride with her mum ( I presume) and two sisters. I could read the ebullience in her every action. It was a delight to watch her. A few minutes passed and several dog owners kept coming by( with their dogs of course) to take a cab to the School gate.
This little girl picked an interest in these dogs. While some of the owners of these pets waited for cabs, she would often try to go up to their dogs to touch and maybe play with them. I was amazed and awed by the fact that she kept going for the big ones. ( I'm totally scared of big dogs BTW. I mean, you need to have seen the Huge Rottweilers, Caucasian and Alsatian dogs, who wouldn't be scared?) I genuinely admired her spirit. But each time she wanted to go, her mum and sisters held her back saying stuff like "Don't touch it, it's wild and dangerous", "it'll bite you" and other scary things that create terrifying images in a little kid's mind. She wanted to defy them, but she's wasn't even strong enough to free her sister's hold on her hands. Her mum even went to the extent of illustrating how exactly a dog could rip her apart.
      After 3-4 more trials from her and countless scary tales, a man came to sit at the park with his Shepherd dog. The girl noticed the Dog and went like 'mummy see'. Her mum was like "yes it's a dog but don't go close to it, it's dangerous". The man tried to encourage the little girl that the Dog wouldn't harm her and that it was tame. But as soon as I saw the reluctance in her eyes, I knew the battle was lost. She walked towards him a bit, and then went back to hold her mother. Her earlier determination was destroyed. And I'm pretty sure that girl would likely end up being scared of dogs. I left soon after so I can't tell the aftermath though.
      The experience, as funny as it seemed, got me wondering however. Now I wonder if we truly fear the things we claim to be frightened of, or maybe it's an illusion we were made to believe in right from our early years. And I know for one that what one tells or teaches a child tends to stick and sets the foundation for the growth, development and mindset of the child. So is it possible that just a few words said non-challantly by the adults around us during our childhood are the triggers of our supposed 'worst fears'? It might be that I'm thinking to the extreme, but there's also the chance that I might be right. I've read alot of articles that state fear is just an illusion and one should always learn to conquer one's fears and stuff like that. But now I wonder if that alleged fear is meant to exist in the first place? I mean with this little girl, if there's something she was meant to fear, it shouldn't be dogs. It wasn't in her nature to. Atleast until the fear was built in her. That's why I'm asking; is fear innate or cultivated? Because right now, the fear of dogs is gonna be nurtured in that little girl. It is gonna be watered by the reactions and words of her family when she tries going near a dog. She would end up seeing dogs as creatures to be feared and avoided as against her natural instinct which saw them as fascinating and beautiful creatures.( I do admire dogs oh, but I like to do that from a distance, lol)
       I felt sad for the little girl actually. And it was an eye opener for me too. Maybe most things I fear were 'carried over' from some one else who was afraid of them. Maybe that 'fear' isn't mine to feel. Maybe it's not in my nature to fear these things. Maybe it's all an illusion really.
Think about it.

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INDEPENDENCE DAY SPECIALE

      I'm a member of the Rotaract Club of University of Ibadan( the first one to be established in Nigeria actually) Yeah, UI reps the first in everything. Lol.
      All Rotaract Clubs are sponsored by and are Partners of Rotary Clubs in their respective districts. There are also Interact clubs and we are all under the umbrella of Rotary International; A Non-Profit Organization that seeks to create positive change in humanity and empower the less- priviledged.
      Rotary International is an awesome association that has changed my life since I gained membership. But I'll give you all the juicy deets about it on another post. To learn more about Rotary, click here. Now to the main agenda of today's post. Lol.
      On Independence Day ROTA UI held her Investiture Ceremony, where the Board of Directors of this Rotary Year were installed, New members were admitted and the Club launched two of its Community Projects. It was the best way to celebrate the emancipation of our Fatherland.
     Lest I forget, Happy Independence Day in arrears to you all. Let's not forget to keep praying for our dear country. Despite all we have gone through, we can only forge ahead. We shouldn't dwell on the sorrow of our yesterdays but rather, look forward to the promise of tomorrow. And don't forget, "Change begins with you and me".
   A few pictures from the event:

Rotary Serving Humanity Year!

Board of Directors

Outgoing president of the 'Be A Gift To The World' Rotary Year

Launching of one of the club's projects

Installation Committee Members

Chairperson of the occasion.

New members of the club being inducted.

Rotaract President for the 'Rotary Serving Humanity' Year

Photo Credit: Alawode Peter

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HEARTBROKEN (A FEATURED POEM)

This pain in my heart
burns me physically
And emotionally
Can't even say which hurts more
Just that I know it burns

I get goosebumps all over
My whole body seems unable
To lift itself off the bed
Just letting itself languish in
the harshness of the bed.

I am not sad.
Sincerely sadness doesn't seem the word
Just uninterested in so many things.
The interest went with her

I lay, twist, turn
All in a bid for time to pass
But Alas!
Two hours is the new one week
And it seems
Time isn't the best healer of wounds
As it passes slowly
When one needs it to nitro itself.

Heart's shattered
Body weak
Interest gone
But it will only get better
Or isn't that what they say
When you tell them
Your heart is broken....

Poet: N.Hassan 

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LOVE THYSELF

I ponder and wonder why we prioritize romantic love over other forms of love. Is it because of the butterflies we claim to feel in our bellies? Why can't I go out with my GIRLfriends and feel those same butterflies 'coz we get to spend time together regardless of our various hectic schedules. People say "God, I feel so lonely!" And I'm like are you so blind that you can't see all the people who love you more than life itself around you? Your family, best buddies, And its never enough? I fall victim of this sometimes too so I don't want to judge anyone. I tend to forget how amazing I am. I sometimes forget to tell myself how in love I am with the woman I'm becoming.
Ladies and Gents, you need to stop assuming that you need another person to complete you. You were created unique, beautiful and complete in yourself and Any other being only serves to complement you. Thus, that significant other should just be a complement and not your missing piece as people say.
Sure it's awesome to be in love with someone and to enjoy the companionship and other accompanying benefits but nothing can ever outweigh self-love or call it 'Positive Narcissism' ('cause too much of anything is bad, lol). Fall in love with yourself and be in tune with the inner YOU. So, when next you are alone, you shouldn't see it as a dreadful thing. Take it as an opportunity to discover new dimensions of yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. We all have our unique purpose and mission in this life that we'll need to be alone sometimes to fulfill.
Often times we 'lose' ourselves, all to please or be in love with someone. We tend to forget our relevance and we become strangers even to ourselves. While trying to be the best companions we can be, we overprioritize these other people and other aspects of our life start to suffer. This is when our friends make remarks such as "Kemi you have changed" or "Steven I dont seem to know you anymore these days". Do not take these comments as unimportant. They signify that something wrong is happening which shouldn't be.
I saw a picture message of recent which stated that "The average person loses two friends when they fall in love". That is as disappointing as it gets. Why do my friends have to suffer for my involvement in a relationship? This is why I'll reiterate the fact that SELF-LOVE IS KEY! If you love yourself enough and are confident in your person, if you know how to properly place every important person in your life on their right pedestal without any losing out for the benefit of another, then you'll have no problem making your relationship with your friends, family  and your flame last.
Balance in everything can never be overemphasized. Tilting to one side grossly would negatively affect the other sides .
When you understand this you'll learn to care for yourself, appreciate your family and friends and contribute to a positive relationship where one partner wouldn't choke the other with attention.

Lois Wyse wisely said "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world."
Charles Kuralt further posited that, "The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege."

This goes to show that one should never compromise or neglect one's relationship with family and friends.
I'll conclude with Lucille Ball's erudite words, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."

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