LOVE THYSELF

I ponder and wonder why we prioritize romantic love over other forms of love. Is it because of the butterflies we claim to feel in our bellies? Why can't I go out with my GIRLfriends and feel those same butterflies 'coz we get to spend time together regardless of our various hectic schedules. People say "God, I feel so lonely!" And I'm like are you so blind that you can't see all the people who love you more than life itself around you? Your family, best buddies, And its never enough? I fall victim of this sometimes too so I don't want to judge anyone. I tend to forget how amazing I am. I sometimes forget to tell myself how in love I am with the woman I'm becoming.
Ladies and Gents, you need to stop assuming that you need another person to complete you. You were created unique, beautiful and complete in yourself and Any other being only serves to complement you. Thus, that significant other should just be a complement and not your missing piece as people say.
Sure it's awesome to be in love with someone and to enjoy the companionship and other accompanying benefits but nothing can ever outweigh self-love or call it 'Positive Narcissism' ('cause too much of anything is bad, lol). Fall in love with yourself and be in tune with the inner YOU. So, when next you are alone, you shouldn't see it as a dreadful thing. Take it as an opportunity to discover new dimensions of yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. We all have our unique purpose and mission in this life that we'll need to be alone sometimes to fulfill.
Often times we 'lose' ourselves, all to please or be in love with someone. We tend to forget our relevance and we become strangers even to ourselves. While trying to be the best companions we can be, we overprioritize these other people and other aspects of our life start to suffer. This is when our friends make remarks such as "Kemi you have changed" or "Steven I dont seem to know you anymore these days". Do not take these comments as unimportant. They signify that something wrong is happening which shouldn't be.
I saw a picture message of recent which stated that "The average person loses two friends when they fall in love". That is as disappointing as it gets. Why do my friends have to suffer for my involvement in a relationship? This is why I'll reiterate the fact that SELF-LOVE IS KEY! If you love yourself enough and are confident in your person, if you know how to properly place every important person in your life on their right pedestal without any losing out for the benefit of another, then you'll have no problem making your relationship with your friends, family  and your flame last.
Balance in everything can never be overemphasized. Tilting to one side grossly would negatively affect the other sides .
When you understand this you'll learn to care for yourself, appreciate your family and friends and contribute to a positive relationship where one partner wouldn't choke the other with attention.

Lois Wyse wisely said "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world."
Charles Kuralt further posited that, "The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege."

This goes to show that one should never compromise or neglect one's relationship with family and friends.
I'll conclude with Lucille Ball's erudite words, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."

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WHEN THE MIGHTY FALL...

Confucius once said, "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
There's this Debate Competition that occurs anually in the University of Ibadan. It's claimed to be the biggest event in West Africa and it features a contest between all faculties in the institution. It's called 'Jaw War'. I am a Social Scientist, and last year we took the cup home! It was glorious to say the least. We were the champions of Public Speaking. Fast forward to this year's event, we had to scale through the first round and Quatre-finals atleast. (the whole school expected that, talk about pressure!)
Our speakers were ready, speeches perfected. We were gonna keep the cup afterall. Then the Faculty of Technology came to burn our hopes and turn them into meaningless ashes. We lost! The standing champions lost! And it was nothing short of disgraceful.

It hurt tons to lose. My friends represented the Faculty and I could see they were devastated by the outcome of the event. We didn't even get past the first stage! But this same people were part of those who won us the cup last year and I know they're awesome Public Speakers. It's hard to say what exactly went wrong.
But then I realised this happens to a good number of people too.
No one enjoys failure. In fact we've been taught to see it as an infectious killer disease, one to be feared and completely avoided. But as Paulo Coelho said "There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.'

It hurts more, I believe, to have already gotten to the apex and then fall to rock bottom. More often than not, the courage to start again falters. As a human being, one naturally gets discouraged and uninterested.
But that same day, the spirit of my comrades in the Social Sciences, particularly our L&D society was one to be admired. We encouraged our speakers and got determined to make better preparations ahead of next year. And that is what matters folks! When you fall, don't lie down there worrying about the bruises on you, you get UP, dust your clothes, clean your cuts and make sure you don't fall again. It's all about learning from your past. "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hardwork and learning from failure." As Colin Powell wisely posited.
You cannot keep living your life based on "had I done 'this' I could have won, had I not done 'that' I wouldn't have lost". You've lost this time! You need to deal with that knowledge. You need to accept your temporary loss and forge ahead if not it becomes permanent. Learn from the past. Things you could have done better, apply them to your next tryout. You only become a failure when you stop trying. "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. but I cannot accept not trying." These are the words of Michael Jordan.

The road to success is laden with the inevitable pitfalls called failure. But what matters is you getting back up and moving forward, however slowly you can do that.

I know next year will be better for my Faculty. It's not pride. I just know we're gonna learn from our mistakes, put in more work, remain dedicated, and take back what's ours! I'd suggest you do that too, in whatever way it applies to you.

When the MIGHTY fall, they do not sit and lick their wounds. They get back up, going stronger against all odds.

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SHE WANTS MORE

This is for the men.
Have you ever had a girl you really liked and the feeling was mutual, you guys hit it off instantly and it's all going great. Suddenly, one day she calls or texts or tells you to your face that it's over and she simply can't give any cogent reason for it? You're left wondering what could have gone wrong, cause you did everything to make her happy; took her out (movies et al), introduced her to your friends, visited her often and probably had this awesome intimacy going on for both of you. It's simple, it wasn't enough. Not because you didn't do your best or that she didn't appreciate your efforts, but because you never satisfied some 'basic fantasies' that almost all ladies have.
Now, you must realize that 95% of girls would be content with a guy who does all I listed above for them. In fact they'd be madly in love with such a guy. But there's that 5% who wouldn't be necessarily "swept off their feet" by such actions. Are they ingrates? Hell no! Gold diggers? Far from it. Infact they want you to spend less. E.g, such a girl would appreciate a call from you by 3a.m, reminding her how much you love and adore her, than you taking her to see a movie. The thing is, she'll appreciate something men don't do regularly more than something as common as going to the movies.
Such girls love spontaneity and unpredictability. So, imagine her finding a hand-written love letter(make it as honest and emotional as possible but don't forget to infuse a little bit of humor) and a small box of chocolates with a note that says "You are as irresistible as they are" or "you are like a box of chocolates, sweet and soft" or whatever you choose to write, in her handbag on a stressful day. (Of course make sure she realizes it was sent from you, probably by using a phrase she's used to you saying or simply indicate your name) She'd be hooked onto you forever. This isn't so hard to achieve. Simply asking a friend of hers to help you with it is enough to do d trick or slipping it into her bag when she's not paying attention. This is, of course, just one example. Imagine the countless other ways you can thrill that special person in your life. Even the 95% average women would love such gestures.
Being plain and expressive with her is important.
Buy her flowers. I know it sounds cheesy but I doubt anyone does it nowadays and so she'll be surprised. Go an extra mile and pick fresh flowers by yourself. Put them in a vase and you can simply add a note or tell her "they remind me of you".
Take her out to a favorite spot of yours in the city. Maybe a garden or the top of a building. Tell her why it's so special. Ladies love when men share things they hold dear, it shows you trust her and you want her to be a part of your life.
Cuddle. I have to be honest, a lot of men ignore or overlook this. One major way to make your lady feel secure and in her element is when you cuddle right after being intimate. It makes her feel wanted and sexy. Whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Tell her how special she is and how lucky you are to have her. Hold her through all this. Say "I just want to hold on to you forever cos I don't want no nigga snatching what's mine", say it like you mean it.
Look at her. Not just the normal everyday look. Tell her with your eyes that "I'm never taking my eyes off you, cos you're simply the best thing I've ever set them on" let your eyes be filled with love and sincerity. Always.
Kiss her. Kiss her when she expects it and when she doesn't. Kiss her when she's angry and when she's excited, kiss her when she's being serious and when she's joking. When she wants to get angry and yell threaten her with a kiss (of course she'd still dare you and yell anyways, kiss her still, she wants you to and it'll be cute). Kiss her in front of others and claim her as yours. It has 2 advantages; it's send off a warning to preying men that she's already taken and it also makes her feel relevant and special to you.
The whole idea is that, to make a woman fall "head over heels" for you without any fear of her wanting to ever break up, you need to think out of the box. Be creative! Nothing is more interesting than a man who keeps you on your feet because you never can really tell what's up his sleeve.
Apply these tips to your relationships. Whether you're tryna woo a new girl in the neighbourhood or you just wanna add some spice to your love life (that has seemingly lost its thrill). Trust me it'll be fun.

P.S: Don't forget to leave your comments and feedback. I'd love to hear from you.

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A Poem From Long Ago

I long for companionship.

The kind that leaves you whole and complete.
 The kind that consumes you.
That leaves your heart bubbling full of life.
The kind that a simple smile or touch kindles.

The kind that doesn't judge me.
The kind that loves me, flaws and all.
The kind that longs for me.

That companionship that sustains; through storms and calm.
The kind that doesn't come with expectations.
Just loving me through it all.

The companionship that never abandons.
 Always finding its way back to me.
The type of companionship that nautical miles never matter to.
The companionship that is true and pure.
Unstained by pretense or lies.

The rare one.
Only found by the lucky ones in a lifetime.
Eternal,
It transcends even at the end of life itself.
Like a star that never goes extinct.

The companionship that is slow.
Defies even time and never succumbs to the hustle-bustle of the world.
The kind that is like the earth itself,
always regenerating.
Soft yet fierce,
calm yet passionate.
The type that makes you at one with everything around you.

But I'm unlucky.
So I keep searching for this in friends and those who claim to love me.

My doom. My misfortune.

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EATING WRIGHT

Where the foodies at?
   So I recently went home for a two-week break and the coolest part was the fact that I got to eat healthy. Alot. Like yeah sure, to a large extent I eat normal food back in school and not necessarily junk. But my eating manners in school don't exactly measure up. Like having dinner at 12am and brunch instead of breakfast.
  So at home, my mum has managed to create this totally effective meal regimen that has helped alot in reducing our calorie intake and also heped in improving the nutritional balance of any meal.

Take as a case study this particular plate of Tuwo Shinkafa and Efo riro,(which was delicious!!!) the consistency of the tuwo was thickened with a little semolina which helped to reduce the urge of eating more portions.
  The Efo Riro didn't contain the slightest sprinkle of a seasoning cube. Just little salt and lemon-pepper powder and lots of other healthy spices. A major one was Turmeric. Known for its healing powers and healthy nature, turmeric is definitely a great addition to anyone's kitchen. It has helped to replace Curry powder for my mum especially, considering the fact that it carries out almost all curry functions and more.
   Just try to make a meal today without adding your favorite 'maggi' or 'knorr' and see the result. Don't forget to put in a little turmeric as you go too. It can be featured in basically any dish so it actually is crazy useful.
  For more tips or a full low down on the best spices and brands to buy,(cause I don't know, lol)(you can get them at any supermarket or farmer's market I'm sure)  contact the best chef of all time who also happens to be my mother lol at musleemah89@gmail.com
I.G: musleemahnikeabdulrahman

 If you love Vegetables like me, I'd like to see you recreate this meal and send pictures to my email: praisesubtle@gmail.com
Feel free to make any replacement according to your preferences.
  Lets get cooking guys!!!

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