Yesterday as I sat with a friend at the car pack of my institution's Student Union Building, resting, after standing under the sun for hours watching a Dog Show that was organized in school, I noticed a cute little girl who was seemingly waiting for a ride with her mum ( I presume) and two sisters. I could read the ebullience in her every action. It was a delight to watch her. A few minutes passed and several dog owners kept coming by( with their dogs of course) to take a cab to the School gate.
This little girl picked an interest in these dogs. While some of the owners of these pets waited for cabs, she would often try to go up to their dogs to touch and maybe play with them. I was amazed and awed by the fact that she kept going for the big ones. ( I'm totally scared of big dogs BTW. I mean, you need to have seen the Huge Rottweilers, Caucasian and Alsatian dogs, who wouldn't be scared?) I genuinely admired her spirit. But each time she wanted to go, her mum and sisters held her back saying stuff like "Don't touch it, it's wild and dangerous", "it'll bite you" and other scary things that create terrifying images in a little kid's mind. She wanted to defy them, but she's wasn't even strong enough to free her sister's hold on her hands. Her mum even went to the extent of illustrating how exactly a dog could rip her apart.
After 3-4 more trials from her and countless scary tales, a man came to sit at the park with his Shepherd dog. The girl noticed the Dog and went like 'mummy see'. Her mum was like "yes it's a dog but don't go close to it, it's dangerous". The man tried to encourage the little girl that the Dog wouldn't harm her and that it was tame. But as soon as I saw the reluctance in her eyes, I knew the battle was lost. She walked towards him a bit, and then went back to hold her mother. Her earlier determination was destroyed. And I'm pretty sure that girl would likely end up being scared of dogs. I left soon after so I can't tell the aftermath though.
The experience, as funny as it seemed, got me wondering however. Now I wonder if we truly fear the things we claim to be frightened of, or maybe it's an illusion we were made to believe in right from our early years. And I know for one that what one tells or teaches a child tends to stick and sets the foundation for the growth, development and mindset of the child. So is it possible that just a few words said non-challantly by the adults around us during our childhood are the triggers of our supposed 'worst fears'? It might be that I'm thinking to the extreme, but there's also the chance that I might be right. I've read alot of articles that state fear is just an illusion and one should always learn to conquer one's fears and stuff like that. But now I wonder if that alleged fear is meant to exist in the first place? I mean with this little girl, if there's something she was meant to fear, it shouldn't be dogs. It wasn't in her nature to. Atleast until the fear was built in her. That's why I'm asking; is fear innate or cultivated? Because right now, the fear of dogs is gonna be nurtured in that little girl. It is gonna be watered by the reactions and words of her family when she tries going near a dog. She would end up seeing dogs as creatures to be feared and avoided as against her natural instinct which saw them as fascinating and beautiful creatures.( I do admire dogs oh, but I like to do that from a distance, lol)
I felt sad for the little girl actually. And it was an eye opener for me too. Maybe most things I fear were 'carried over' from some one else who was afraid of them. Maybe that 'fear' isn't mine to feel. Maybe it's not in my nature to fear these things. Maybe it's all an illusion really.
Think about it.
This is indeed so true
ReplyDeleteIkr. Thanks.
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